How to Stop Holding Yourself Back

My client was struggling with his superego.

“I don’t think I deserve it,” his voice was more annoyed than sad as he explained why he thought he wasn’t getting the results he wanted.

“Ok,” I replied, “how do you know that you don’t deserve it?”

“Well, I..” He hesitated. Several seconds passed. “I guess I don’t know.”

“Is it possible that it could be your superego that is telling you that you don’t deserve it so that you won’t make the efforts needed to succeed? Could it be that this is nothing but your superego tricking you into thinking that it’s best to just not move forward towards your new life?”

“Damnit..” He said with a smile, “and here I thought I had that ego thing figured out!”

After this conversation, my client who had been on my online program for a few weeks made a giant leap forward in creating the life that he wanted. He realized that it wasn’t about what he thought he “deserved”, it was only about whether he was putting in the effort to create what he wanted or not.

But we all fall for our superego’s trickery from time to time.

What is the superego?

That voice in your head that keeps telling you what you’re not good enough for, what’s not going to work, why you shouldn’t do the things you need to do, etc.

That voice is our superego, and its greatest trick is to convince us that it is us. That its thoughts are our thoughts. But they are not.

Those thoughts you have that keep holding you back aren’t you. You are the person that needs to decide whether you’re going to listen to them or not.

Because our thoughts are rarely facts. They are ideas. Imaginings. Dreams. Nightmares. Conjured illusions of the mind.

Your superego calls on things like your availability bias, your fears, and your insecurities to try to control you.

And once we know this we can start living a life that is not directed by our superego. A life that is created by us. A life designed based on what’s right for us, what we want, and what we dream of. Instead of a life created by our superego’s fears, ideas and need to control us.

Stop worrying about what you deserve.

There is no universal measures or objective ways to define who you are and decides what you deserve.

There is only belief. You have certain beliefs about what you deserve, just like others have. And what that is usually varies a lot from person to person.

Our beliefs are created in our own mind. And they are often created by processes that are not actually trying to help us, just control us.

So we need to ignore what we think we "deserve", and instead start working to get what we want.

Overcome the thoughts that are holding you back.

Which of them do you have proof are true? Which do you just believe to be true?

Because belief does not create facts. And if you are letting these thoughts hold you back without challenging them, without seeking actual proof, you are letting your superego design your life. And your superego doesn’t care if you have a happy and fulfilled life or not – it only cares that you listen to it.

So what are you going to do today, tomorrow and the next day to start creating the results that you want? Which of your thoughts are you going to stop listening to?

Would you like to learn more about how to overcome your superego? I go into detail about it in my course "The Secrets of Confidence and Communication". Click here to learn more.